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What's the story?

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I'll be honest, i've never been much of a reader. I've loathed over having to read books. As a matter a fact, I remember dropping 10th English honors because I did not want to read the summer reading list. A decision I regret to this day. Despite not being much of a reader, I do enjoy and value a good story.

A prominent leader once said that it takes an average person about 10 years worth of experience to write a book. So the way he figured, if he read 1 book a year, he'd be gaining the experience of 10 years with each book. I recently finished a book, that had a lifetime's worth of experience and wisdom. The Imam's Daughter tells the story of a Pakistani Muslim growing up in late 80's to mid 90's England. It tells the story of her terrible struggle through cultural norms as well as personal hardships, that included sexual abuse and torment. Hannah a pseudonym  for the author and teller of the story eventually found faith as she detailed her slow road to recovery. The key to opening that door was Love.

Here's what I walked away with. Never discredit the impact of the simple act of love. At times we might have to love someone implicitely. A simple smile or door holding might do. However, other times, we might have to show love with big motions and waves of acceptance and an outpouring of love. In those times, we must not be afraid to love lavishly. The way God loves us lavishly. May we take the time to understand and hear each other's stories and may we be ready to LOVE greatly, when the opportunity comes.

Divide

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It seems like every where we look, divide is prevalent. Where one stands on "this issue" or "that topic" is the main focus.

I've never really understood the need of denominational divide. Don't get me wrong i understand the need for spiritual structure, organization, accountability and community. However, I have never understood the point of divide. Working with real people, People who do not have a sense of Jesus and his amazing grace; never once asked the denominational background and have believed more because of where my allegiance lay. However, I have found the opposite affect. Many torn and jaded because of denominational banter. Here's what I suggest, we celebrate our theology, but do not allow it to define where where practice our theology. Above all, we are called to believe that Jesus is savior and to make disciples. Last time I checked, divide did not help accomplish either of those realities.

Brake so you don't BREAK!

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It's summer, everyone it seems is on vacation. Everyone it seems is taking a moment away from their routine. All the while, you are wondering, When is my break?, Do I ever get a chance to break away?, If I leave how will I make it? Listen, the reality to take vacation or break is difficult. Most of us live paycheck to paycheck (75% I heard once!) So with that reality many of us cannot afford to take a break. With the stress of bills, providing for our families, the tension has never been greater. There is a real necessity to work. 

However, your body will need a break, whether you plan one or not. Our bodies were created to run, to move, to be used. But without proper maintenance, your body cannot keep up. You will either plan to get away or your body will make you. This happens all to often, when you move forward with pace and eventually get sick. The sickness hits hard because of the lack of rest you've given it. So if you're saying you can't afford to take a break, I would argue that you cannot afford NOT to take a break.

Taking a proper break physically, mentally, emotionally will help you sustain life's trials. It can also build your spiritual strength as well! Jesus took breaks all too often (Luke 5:16) to get away, pray and recharge. We would benefit if we did the same. My push is simple is a world where we are constantly taught to Go, go, go, we would benefit to stop every once in awhile!

5 Ways to ask your child "How was your Day?" and Why it's Important

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    The world is more connected today than it has ever been. We have text messaging, direct messaging, and a phone at our sides at all times. In a time when we are so connected, how can we also feel so disconnected? Fostering connectedness among parents and children can be difficult . Often times, the question “How was your day?” is answered by a quick “good” and parents are left feeling closed off. Here are 5 questions that parents can ask their child instead of “How was your day?” that will foster better communication.

 

  1. What made you smile today? I love this question because we can often focus on the negative aspects of the day. Children can do so also. However, when you ask a child what made them smile you are training them to focus on the positive aspects of the day. Teaching a child to focus on positive aspects can go a long way and carry them all throughout their childhood right into adulthood.

  2. Does everyone have a friend at recess/lunch? What a perfect question to teach a child empathy! Empathy, is an important skill learned in childhood and teaches the ability think about others feelings. If a child can grasp this concept early in life, their ability to remain empathetic in the future is more likely. Even if this question is asked and an appropriate answer is not given, the child will be more likely to think about this concept at his/her next recess or lunch break. We don’t want to burden children to being friends with everyone, but helping children be aware of such feelings is important.

  3. Did you tell anyone thank you? An ungrateful soul is difficult to navigate. We have all been at that place where we are trying our best to serve, only to be met with a disgruntled look or an absence of acknowledgement. How rude! Challenging your child to think about times when they are actively using “thank you” goes a long way and breeds kindness in the world. Teaching this kindness and gratitude should be goals for every parent.

  4. What inspired you today? We are all created to be dreamers and explorers. You don’t have to teach a child to be curious they just naturally are! Asking a child about their “inspirations” can help groom growth. It’s important as parents to find and listen to what inspires their children so that they can continue to fan their child’s flame. Do you know what inspires your child? Find out today!

  5. What are you looking forward to tomorrow? Forward thinking, moving forward and thinking ahead; these are essential for the tomorrow’s leaders. When fostering communication with your child, asking about tomorrow is important. It teaches them to think ahead, this helps develop critical thinking skills. Additionally, asking about tomorrow helps them remain hopeful. In life, one of the hardest things to overcome is hopelessness. Even on bad days, a child can learn to remain hopeful, if they focus on tomorrow. We can’t rid our children of terrible days, but we can teach them to look forward if we keep this onward focused!

 

These are just a few ways we can steer from closed ended questions and foster great communication with your children. Do you have others that you like to use? Please feel free to share in the comments below. Communication is more than just talking, it’s asking the right questions to help the speaker feel understood!

From Generation to Generation

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One of my first jobs a therapist was doing in-home mental health therapy. Upon a few visits with patients in the office, because of transportation or access to care, we'd make a transition to home visits. Every time this move happened I always found it astounding how many questions this answered. A person's environment, home life, and normalcy explains a lot about a person.

In the same way, I've found it important to take inventory on my own experiences and how they affect me. What I often see how generations communicate, it tells a lot. Most times we do not take enough time, to study communication and relational patterns and that in turn gets passed on from generation to generation. However, if we are redeemed and set free the reality of our faith should be freeing also. We should now look to God our perfect father and Jesus his Savior Son to dictate our communication pattern and hopefully shape our families for generations to come. Because generations after us depend on it.

Have you allowed how you were brought up to dictate your household now? Are you shaping your child's normalcy to change their child's normalcy? 

Diversity

Did you know that FIBC is made up of many types of nationality. The name "First International Baptist Church" was birthed out of the reality that our church is comprised of people from all corners of the world.

FIBC is all about culture.  We have a heart for the city and it's minority/immigrant/refugee population. Many of the members are first, second and third generation immigrants/refugees. Our ethnic backgrounds include Nepali, Laotian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Hmong, Filipino and much more!

 

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