5 More Ways to ask your Children "How was your Day"

It is vital that as parents we continue to pastor our children in ways that are sharp with technique and purpose. Did you know that the job title of a youth pastor has only been around since the 1950’s? Before that the original youth and children’s pastors were parents. So parents, we’ve got to perk up and get involved in our children’s lives. One of the best ways to do so is through conversation. Here are 5 MORE ways you can ask your child “How was your day?”

1. Can you teach me something I don’t know? Growing up, I had an uncle who was just always happy. Every time I saw him, he had the glow. He had the ability to light up a room and ask us the best questions. Reflecting on our interactions now I can honestly pinpoint why our interactions were so special. It was because he spoke to us as “little thinkers.” He didn’t be little our opinion but truly waited and listened to our response. This is essential for us as parents. We’ve got to empower our children as problem solvers, that way as they grow up they’ll be able to translate that confidence in every area. Taking this opportunity to learn from your kiddos can absolutely accomplish that!

2. How were you brave today? Yes, the emotion and act of “bravery” is important. It’s that moment where fear strikes the body and we need a little push beyond that to overcome our hurdle. Asking your child how they were brave, will instill the start of looking for this emotion each day. They will start to look for opportunities and become more aware of such emotions. Also the feeling can be fleeting, therefore, if your child doesn’t notice the feeling yet sure enough over time they will surely start. 

3. Rate your day on a scale of 1-10? Asking your child to quantitatively rate their day will allow them a few opportunities. The first being reflection. They will be able to stop and think about this day and how it compares to others. Ofcourse, the rating is subjective but that’s not really the point. It’s about getting your child to think outside the box of each day and will encourage him to think larger than the day at hand. If this doesn’t happen immediately, the reflection will start to encourage some major inventory gathering each day. Also, if one day rates worse than the other, it can open the doors for additional follow up questions such as: What makes today a 7 and yesterday a 5? Or I know today you had a 6 but I wonder what a 9 would look like? Your child communicating their thoughts is the goal here and it’s a joy to hear their little minds dissect their thoughts. 

4. What is something that challenged you? The thought of a challenge is key to progress and growth. I think admitting that something is hard is key to growing up. Too often we internalize these challenges and as a result find ourselves either not celebrating the achievement or not understanding the struggle. Your child can start to acknowledge those difficult moments; therefore letting others know or they can learn to celebrate accordingly. Either way what a win for you and your little one to process through. 

5. If you could switch seats with anyone in class, who would it be? And why? Empathy is absolutely important. With the virtual world all around us, one can forget that there is a breathing life at the other end of internet conversations. Consider how one wouldn’t yell certain comments at people in real life, but somehow on the internet such remarks are only tolerated they are glorified. Teaching your child, empathy and what it would be like to be in another’s seat accomplishes this feat. Asking to pause and consider their life from another’s vantage point will breed understanding about how they might consider other’s emotions and choices. When we can do this as children and have it trickle into adulthood, we will all be better well rounded adults. 

Being a parent is difficult. There are no manuals that come with our children. And for many of us, it’s figuring it all out as we go. We’ll make mistakes that’s certain, but if we can start to initiate some of these questions we can better help each child learn the necessary tools they need to communicate and cope with life as a child and into adulthood.

5 Ways to ask your child "How was your Day?" and Why it's Important

    The world is more connected today than it has ever been. We have text messaging, direct messaging, and a phone at our sides at all times. In a time when we are so connected, how can we also feel so disconnected? Fostering connectedness among parents and children can be difficult . Often times, the question “How was your day?” is answered by a quick “good” and parents are left feeling closed off. Here are 5 questions that parents can ask their child instead of “How was your day?” that will foster better communication.

1. What made you smile today? I love this question because we can often focus on the negative aspects of the day. Children can do so also. However, when you ask a child what made them smile you are training them to focus on the positive aspects of the day. Teaching a child to focus on positive aspects can go a long way and carry them all throughout their childhood right into adulthood.

2. Does everyone have a friend at recess/lunch? What a perfect question to teach a child empathy! Empathy, is an important skill learned in childhood and teaches the ability think about others feelings. If a child can grasp this concept early in life, their ability to remain empathetic in the future is more likely. Even if this question is asked and an appropriate answer is not given, the child will be more likely to think about this concept at his/her next recess or lunch break. We don’t want to burden children to being friends with everyone, but helping children be aware of such feelings is important.

3. Did you tell anyone thank you? An ungrateful soul is difficult to navigate. We have all been at that place where we are trying our best to serve, only to be met with a disgruntled look or an absence of acknowledgement. How rude! Challenging your child to think about times when they are actively using “thank you” goes a long way and breeds kindness in the world. Teaching this kindness and gratitude should be goals for every parent.

4. What inspired you today? We are all created to be dreamers and explorers. You don’t have to teach a child to be curious they just naturally are! Asking a child about their “inspirations” can help groom growth. It’s important as parents to find and listen to what inspires their children so that they can continue to fan their child’s flame. Do you know what inspires your child? Find out today!

5. What are you looking forward to tomorrow? Forward thinking, moving forward and thinking ahead; these are essential for the tomorrow’s leaders. When fostering communication with your child, asking about tomorrow is important. It teaches them to think ahead, this helps develop critical thinking skills. Additionally, asking about tomorrow helps them remain hopeful. In life, one of the hardest things to overcome is hopelessness. Even on bad days, a child can learn to remain hopeful, if they focus on tomorrow. We can’t rid our children of terrible days, but we can teach them to look forward if we keep this onward focused!

These are just a few ways we can steer from closed ended questions and foster great communication with your children. Do you have others that you like to use? Please feel free to share in the comments below. Communication is more than just talking, it’s asking the right questions to help the speaker feel understood!