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5 Ways to ask your child "How was your Day?" and Why it's Important

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    The world is more connected today than it has ever been. We have text messaging, direct messaging, and a phone at our sides at all times. In a time when we are so connected, how can we also feel so disconnected? Fostering connectedness among parents and children can be difficult . Often times, the question “How was your day?” is answered by a quick “good” and parents are left feeling closed off. Here are 5 questions that parents can ask their child instead of “How was your day?” that will foster better communication.

 

  1. What made you smile today? I love this question because we can often focus on the negative aspects of the day. Children can do so also. However, when you ask a child what made them smile you are training them to focus on the positive aspects of the day. Teaching a child to focus on positive aspects can go a long way and carry them all throughout their childhood right into adulthood.

  2. Does everyone have a friend at recess/lunch? What a perfect question to teach a child empathy! Empathy, is an important skill learned in childhood and teaches the ability think about others feelings. If a child can grasp this concept early in life, their ability to remain empathetic in the future is more likely. Even if this question is asked and an appropriate answer is not given, the child will be more likely to think about this concept at his/her next recess or lunch break. We don’t want to burden children to being friends with everyone, but helping children be aware of such feelings is important.

  3. Did you tell anyone thank you? An ungrateful soul is difficult to navigate. We have all been at that place where we are trying our best to serve, only to be met with a disgruntled look or an absence of acknowledgement. How rude! Challenging your child to think about times when they are actively using “thank you” goes a long way and breeds kindness in the world. Teaching this kindness and gratitude should be goals for every parent.

  4. What inspired you today? We are all created to be dreamers and explorers. You don’t have to teach a child to be curious they just naturally are! Asking a child about their “inspirations” can help groom growth. It’s important as parents to find and listen to what inspires their children so that they can continue to fan their child’s flame. Do you know what inspires your child? Find out today!

  5. What are you looking forward to tomorrow? Forward thinking, moving forward and thinking ahead; these are essential for the tomorrow’s leaders. When fostering communication with your child, asking about tomorrow is important. It teaches them to think ahead, this helps develop critical thinking skills. Additionally, asking about tomorrow helps them remain hopeful. In life, one of the hardest things to overcome is hopelessness. Even on bad days, a child can learn to remain hopeful, if they focus on tomorrow. We can’t rid our children of terrible days, but we can teach them to look forward if we keep this onward focused!

 

These are just a few ways we can steer from closed ended questions and foster great communication with your children. Do you have others that you like to use? Please feel free to share in the comments below. Communication is more than just talking, it’s asking the right questions to help the speaker feel understood!

From Generation to Generation

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One of my first jobs a therapist was doing in-home mental health therapy. Upon a few visits with patients in the office, because of transportation or access to care, we'd make a transition to home visits. Every time this move happened I always found it astounding how many questions this answered. A person's environment, home life, and normalcy explains a lot about a person.

In the same way, I've found it important to take inventory on my own experiences and how they affect me. What I often see how generations communicate, it tells a lot. Most times we do not take enough time, to study communication and relational patterns and that in turn gets passed on from generation to generation. However, if we are redeemed and set free the reality of our faith should be freeing also. We should now look to God our perfect father and Jesus his Savior Son to dictate our communication pattern and hopefully shape our families for generations to come. Because generations after us depend on it.

Have you allowed how you were brought up to dictate your household now? Are you shaping your child's normalcy to change their child's normalcy? 

Diversity

Did you know that FIBC is made up of many types of nationality. The name "First International Baptist Church" was birthed out of the reality that our church is comprised of people from all corners of the world.

FIBC is all about culture.  We have a heart for the city and it's minority/immigrant/refugee population. Many of the members are first, second and third generation immigrants/refugees. Our ethnic backgrounds include Nepali, Laotian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Hmong, Filipino and much more!

 

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